Two rants and a rave

October 18, 2018 - 12:31 pm
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The Rants:
 

Rant #1: Friends don’t let friends do the “yeah but the quarterback wouldn’t be good here” routine

You’ve got to stop. I know you want some of your friends, or me, to stop talking about Patrick Mahomes and the success that he’s having. If that's you, fine. I get it that watching Mahomes hurts because of what might have been. The Bills are building someting different so... we shall have to wait and see how the two builds stack up down the line.

But don’t, I beg you, fall into the trap of claiming that he’d be worthless here because the line isn’t as good and the weapons aren’t as good and the coach and yadda yadda.

The Bills are not under any obligation to have built the team the way that they have. They could have equivalents to all the pieces that are in Kansas City. Could they have Andy Reid? No. Could they have an offensive head coach with a track record for having spread offenses full of skill guys? Yes. Could they have more skill guys? Yes. Could they have Mahomes? Yes.  

The Bills did have the opportunity to build a perfect, or at least better, situation for their quarterback. However, they chose to build the defense. I suppose you have to say that, specifically, has worked.

They have what they have because it’s what they picked. Hopefully next year, the offense has been boosted and people around the country are saying, “Yeah but Josh Allen really has a perfect situation this year."

 

Rant #2: The Syracuse Mets

Man in Syracuse: "Hey did the Mets win last night"?

Another man: "Which Mets?"

Scene.

***

WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA. The Syracuse Mets have signed up for a lifetime of being called by their full name! You can't just say Mets. Are they gonna go "Baby Mets", which is also awful. I can't believe that anyone signed off on this!

On the all-time list of terrible ideas, going BACK in time and renaming your minor league team after the major league team, is near the top of the list. You used to name your minor league team after the major league team for exposure, and brand identifiers, right? Hey… we work with the Astros!  

When I was a kid and saw an Auburn Astros game, I thought I was seeing the REAL Astros. I didn’t figure it out until I was like 12 that it wasn’t the actual Houston Astros.

So maybe these Syracuse Mets will fool some kids? It’s a terrible idea… and robs the Syracuse area of a chance to have a fun team identity.  

Fun fact - I worked for the Auburn Astros when they switched their name to the DoubleDays. That would have been... like 1998? This was at the front edge of name-changing for the fun of it. I remember thinking "Doubledays" was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's not. It's great. It just took some getting used to.

The... METS? That's not fun.

While most teams are doubling and tripling down on fun names, and uniforms, Syracuse is going with the friggin METS.

WOOF.

 

The Rave:

Standard fantasy football stinks. Ok, that sounds like the start of a rant, but this is the start of a rave about other formats.

I’m in three leagues:

  1. Standard: One year, auction, 10 teams.
  2. Dynasty:  Multi-year, huge rosters, we keep 18 players from year  to year and can trade future draft picks
  3. Guillotine:  No head to head matchups… the lowest scoring team each week is kicked out, and the players on that team go on waivers. Waiver budget for the year is $1,000. Last man standing wins.

Standard sucks. I mean it just lacks all the little thrills of the other two styles. I”m going to rave about guillotine here because most of you know dynasty and the guillotine seems to be a trendy style.

Here’s how the week plays out…

  • Sunday - Hope you don’t finish last
  • Sunday night - See your security, or freak out all of Sunday night.
  • Monday - You see who might finish last and start licking your chops at the idea of getting some of the players about to be set free.
  • Monday night - If you’re the one on the block, you will never pull harder for a guy to get you the 13.5 points you need. Your EXISTENCE in this league depends on it! First week it was Rob Gronkowski, Odell Beckham Jr., and Drew Brees that hit the waiver wire. Week 2, Julio Jones got cut loose. This past week (we started a little late yes), Christian McCaffrey was the big prize.
  • Tuesday - Blindly bid on a player and…. wait.
  • Tuesday night - Review your bid.
  • A little later Tuesday night - Change your bid a few bucks.
  • Later - Change it back again
  • Midnight Tuesday - Toss and turn knowing that if you don’t get, in my case McCaffrey, your team could be in the guillotine this week.
  • 3 a.m. Wednesday - Wake up and see if waivers have rolled. They haven't yet.  
  • Wednesday morning - See that you didn’t get McCaffery as he went for huge money $618, and you only bid $602.

I later reviewed my own bid and saw that I had changed it to $540 because I talked with Mike Schopp and got the sense that maybe it’d be a quiet week and McCaffrey wouldn’t be AS expensive as I thought. Thank God I didn’t lose out on him just on that little change. I psyched myself out so many times that I forgot how much I had bid. But the point is… you have to go big. You keep the players you win until you’re out. This week if I get axed, I'll be dying with money to spend. It's watching the clock tick down with timeouts to spend.  

And here I am, having struck out on three big weeks of waiver wire additions, and I’ll be living near the bottom, potentially back in the guillotine.

WHAT WAS I WAITING FOR? WHY DON'T I HAVE MCCAFFREY? It could cost me my league LIFE. And then I'll have only two leagues?? Not ok!

WHY DIDN’T I JUST BID HIGHER!

And now I see that the only guy projected to have lower points than me, doesn’t really have any horses. If he loses, I’m probably near the bottom and possibly back in the guillotine again next week because there are no roster-changers that'd be available.  

I wake up thinking about the guillotine league. I stare at the roster. It could all end any week. It’s hell. But man it’s great.

The real scary part, is once you get chopped.

I can’t imagine the void.

What else would I obsess over???

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